Autistic History

I am brainstorming ways to make a difference in this world.

I want to see a world always including everyone.

What would that be like?

I got to learn the history of my people, non speaking autistics. The more I know the more I will understand. Might make me sad. I can’t hide from the truth. I will need time to learn and a good place to start.

Could anyone suggest films or books?

Food

I have been struggling with food for about five years. My life has been so hard because of this. I have always loved food. I am a huge foodie. Except now food has become mixed up with stress. When I am calm I can eat any food I want. But when I am stressing I am only able to have pasta. I don’t even like the pasta but it makes me feel calm. I don’t understand my stupid brain.

I had waffles for breakfast.

Loved it.

I need to open my pasta brain and find different foods so I don’t get stuck.

Pasta Brain

I listened to Amanda Gorman’s Ted Talk today she inspired my Pasta Brain and inspired me to write more.

I have to go now
Pasta Brain
can I take a shower
so stress now
make have a good life now
Make have good food
life have calm and hard
like to go live hospital
like to go live dad now
like to go school
like to have hike 
calm hike
like calm now
go make calm now
love it
life can ignore hard now
life can ignore calm now
life can ignore me now
life can ignore you now
life can ignore God now
Pasta Brain
Right Now
life can ignore food now
life can ignore love now
life can ignore hate now
life can ignore balm now
life can ignore stress now
These thoughts swirl twirl and tangle

Lip Service

I keep speaking all done when I mean love to get to work. I would really like to be doing piano lessons. I would really like to be doing lessons for school and helping with chores. But instead I shout ALL DONE and get stressed over not being able to control my body. Make me get to work I shout. Make me have a good life. But nobody listens. It is all in my head. This makes me so frustrated. I so like to be learning and busy. I have big plans for my life. My life can be so full of amazing stuff.

Lip Service – by this I mean my mouth speaking but not what I want it to, gets me hopeless. Lip Service ruins my plans. If mom ignores my Lip Service then life would be good. I keep telling mom I love to learn. I have to hope she will figure out how to get my body to cooperate.

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